In addition to being an administrator in student
development, I am also the father of one daughter that has finished college,
another daughter that is college-age but has no desire to be in college, and
two other daughters that absolutely love college but they are 11 and almost
7. I also live in a Sea of Estrogen, but
that is another talk! I tell you these
things simply to say I can identify with where you are right now. It is an honor to talk with you this morning
about your college student and how he or she can be successful outside of the
classroom. You may hear the term
co-curricular over the course of this weekend.
Simply put, co-curricular means a something that is outside the
classroom but compliments the academic setting.
Student Development is about the co-curricular. In fact, the Mission Statement of our
department is The Student Development
Division of Lees-McRae College is committed to guiding, facilitating, challenging
and supporting the development of the whole person- mind, body, heart and soul-
all within the context of a safe, nurturing environment.
As a parent and as an administrator in Student Development,
I want to share with you a few things that I have learned that will help your
student be successful at Lees-McRae College and help you as a parent survive
these next 4-5 or 6 years.
First, remember that you have raised your child in the way
she should go and when she is old she will not depart from that. Sure this is a biblical admonition so it has
to be true right? There has to be a time
when you let go and let all that parenting, all that wisdom, all that direction
giving, come to fruition. You have
planted a seed. You have watered that
seed. Let the flower bloom. The law of the harvest states that seed that
is planted, watered and nurtured will bring forth fruit.
Secondly, learn to text, tweet and facebook. Josh Sanburn in a recent Time Magazine
article about this generation called millennial stated in speaking of today’s
college age students that “they love their phones but hate talking on
them.” Did you know that the average 18
year old sends 88 texts a day? For some
reason, it is higher in my house! I can
tweet so that it gets posted on facebook and sends a text message to my
daughters! You type it once and they get
it 3 different ways! Aren’t you glad
your parents couldn’t do that?
Thirdly, strongly encourage your student to sign the
F.E.R.P.A. form! You are going to hear
lots about that if you have not already.
FERPA stands for the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act. FERPA
gives parents certain rights with respect to their children's education
records. These rights transfer to the student when he or she reaches the age of
18 or attends a school beyond the high school level. Students to whom the
rights have transferred are "eligible students." In other words, if you don’t have your son or
daughter’s permission, you can’t discuss with school officials his or her
grades.
Fourthly,
understand that you are not alone in this process and join the Lees-McRae
College Family Association. Here you
will develop relationships with others that are in the same boat. Remember, there is strength in numbers but
there is also an opportunity to see what has worked for others.
Fifthly,
encourage your student to get involved!
What does that mean exactly?
Involvement opens doors.
Involvement allows one to be part of something and gives a sense of
belonging. Involvement helps develop
leadership and good decision making skills.
Studies have shown that those who are involved in co-curricular
activities have greater social and intellectual development, stronger
leadership abilities, better interpersonal skills, and greater general student
outcomes.
Our Student
Development staff works with students to create these opportunities. We list those opportunities on our website
and promote activities via email, word of mouth, on facebook, through flyers,
and by making them affordable. We are
fortunate to have several clubs and interest groups as well as several
opportunities to enhance learning through workshops, symposiums, and programs
that even are done in the Residence Halls.
We have many opportunities of which can be taken advantage of to focus
on the whole being, the mind, heart, body and soul. Please encourage your student to explore
these possibilities.
Sixthly, I want
to encourage you to help your student understand the resources that are
available to him or her. Our Counseling
and Disabilities services, our health services, and our Residence Life team can
help guide your student through a crisis as well as help celebrate a
victory. Our staff is caring and
personable and quickly able to adapt when necessary to make things get done.
An example is
continuing right now with a busted pipe…
Seventh, know
where the policies are located, know how they are enforces, and know that the
policies of the college are in place for a reason. We are a residential campus because we
recognize that a student’s involvement increases dramatically when that student
lives on campus. Where policies are in
place community happens. When community
happens, our world is changed. However,
when policies are not in place, chaos happens. When chaos happens, people
withdraw and life becomes dull.
Eighth, allow
your student to fail forward.
Inevitably, there will be a time when your student messes up. Let him.
Let her. Don’t be their savior,
but let them learn from that mistake and celebrate with them as they move
onward and upward.
Ninth, let your
student stay on campus during the weekend, but plan for and encourage them to
come home over the breaks, especially when we close the campus!
Last of all, help
your student understand what their plan A is but give them permission to
explore their plan B, and celebrate with them when they proceed to plan Z. Let me explain. Plan A is that dream major leading to that
dream job. Plan B is almost Plan A but
not quite, yet it works. Plan Z is when
you can’t do plan A or Plan B and you are doing whatever you can to legally
make it work.
