Allowing Christ to Become Greater While I Become Less: Five Practical Ways to Start Doing This Today

John 3:30 “He must become greater; I must become less.”

The ministries of John the Baptist and Jesus are overlapping.  John has been preparing the way baptizing and calling for people to repent of their sins.  The other gospels portray him wearing clothes made from camel’s hair and wearing a leather belt.  They have him eating locusts and wild honey.  Isaiah 40:3 is quoted as a prophecy fulfilled, “A voice of the one calling in the desert, ‘prepare the way for the Lord, make straight paths for him.’”  Matthew, Mark, Luke and John all highlight Jesus being baptized by John.  All the gospels reveal that when John baptized Jesus, the Holy Spirit descended on Jesus “like a dove.”  God revealed to John that Jesus was the Son of God.  So when someone came to John saying that others are going to Jesus to get baptized, John quickly responded that Jesus was the Christ, not himself, and others should be going to Jesus to be baptized.  He talks about a joy he has in knowing that Jesus is the Christ and his preaching has been fulfilled.  John the Baptist then makes this statement, “He must become greater; I must become less.”  John’s statement is quite profound.  It is the truth of the gospel. You and I could learn much from this attitude and idea.  Christ must become greater.  You and I must become less.  Well, how do you do that?  How do we make Christ greater and how do we become less.  I am glad you asked!  I want to share with you how you can begin this process today.

First and foremost, in order for Christ to become greater and for us to become less, we must have an understanding about who Christ is.  The Bible has hundreds of names for Jesus.  Understanding who Jesus is means that we have an understanding what each of those names mean.  Many men and women who are much better scholars than I could ever be have devoted their lives to studying scripture and examining these names of Jesus.  Let’s just take one of these names:  Lord.  In the New Testament alone, Lord is used 3,322 times in 3,058 verses.  Dictionary.com defines lord “as a person who has authority, control, or power over others; a master, chief, or ruler.” With this definition in mind, making Jesus Lord means you are giving Him authority, control, and power over your life.  Have you come to the place in your life where you have allowed this to happen?  It is interesting to know that just because Jesus is Lord, He only becomes Lord of your life when you allow Him to do so.  John the Baptist simply stated here, “He must become greater; I must become less.”  If you allow Jesus to be Lord of your life, you are allowing Him to become greater.  Romans 10:9 states “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”  2 Corinthians 4:5 states, “For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.”  1 Peter 3:15 states, “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.”  Can you answer the question when asked if Jesus is Lord?  He must become greater, I must become less.

Secondly, in order for Christ to become greater and for us to become less, we must forgive as we have been forgiven.  In Luke’s version of the Lord’s Prayer, we hear that familiar line Luke 11:4 “Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.  And lead us not into temptation.” Ephesians 4:32 reads “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Colossians 3:13 reads “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”  Hebrews 8:12 reminds us just how much we have been forgiven:  “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”  Psalm 103:11-12 also remind us “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”  You and I have been forgiven greatly! What would happen in your world if you forgave as you have been forgiven?  You will become less and Christ will become greater!

Thirdly, in order for Christ to become greater and for us to become less, we need to love as we are loved.  In John 15:12, Jesus said “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”  1 Corinthians 13:4-7 reminds us that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”  A few chapters later in 1 Corinthians 16:4, Paul simply states “Do everything in love.”  How’s your love life?  Is your love evidence that you are allowing Christ to become greater and you becoming less?  There are times when I will argue with the Lord about who I should love.  Just this week I was driving down the road in a 55 mile per hour zone behind a car from Florida driving 35.  I promise you that my thoughts and actions did not reveal that I was becoming less.  I certainly did not love that driver very much, but when they turned on their turn signal, I rejoiced!  Are you like me?  Are you conditional with your love?  If so, are we allowing Christ to become greater and ourselves to become less?  Ephesians 5:1-2 reads, “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”  Honestly, there have been times when my lack of loving others has not produced a fragrant offering.  In fact, I am certain that it has stunk all the way to heaven.  In order for Christ to become greater, I must become less by living a life of love.

Fourth, in order for Christ to become greater and for us to become less, we need to become students of His word.  2 Timothy 2:15 reads, “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.”  Can you correctly handle the word of truth?  Are you a student of God’s word? 

Hebrews 4:12 reads, “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

1 Peter 1:23-25 reads, “For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. For, ‘All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever.’  And this is the word that was preached to you.”

Colossians 3:16 reads, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.”

Are you a student of the Word of God?  If not, why not?  What is keeping you from being one? 

Last of all, in order for Christ to become greater and for me to become less, I need to live a life of prayer.  There is something about praying that allows you to become less and Christ to become greater.  Tim Keller in his incredible book Prayer, states that “the greatness of prayer is nothing but an extension of the greatness and glory of God in our lives.”  If you want to experience the greatness and glory of God in your life, simply pray.  Jesus taught His disciples to pray.  He prayed often and regularly.  He even died praying.  Jesus, in being submissive to His Father’s will, even became less so that God could become greater.  Jesus recognized and taught the value of prayer.  He prayed, “Not my will, but thine.”  In doing so, Jesus became less and allowed God to be greater.  Have you seen the movie Warroom?  This movie is a great reminder of the call to prayer and how prayer can allow us to become less and Christ to become greater!

So there you have it.  If you want to have the mindset of John the Baptist and allow Christ to become greater and you to become less, understand who Jesus is, forgive as you have been forgiven, love as you have been loved, become a student of God’s word, and spend time with Him in prayer.

Overwhelming?  Go back to this.  God created you and has a purpose for you.  However, our problem is that we are imperfect people and our imperfection provides problems when we try to connect with a perfect God.  Yet because God loves us so much, He provided a means for us to have access to Him.  For God so loved the world that He gave us His son and whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.  All we have to do is to begin with a step of belief.  The simplicity of the gospel is found in the lyrics of this children’s song:  “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so, little ones to him belong, they are weak but He is strong!!”  Do you know that Jesus loves you?  Do you know that He is strong?  Ask Him about it.  He is ready to tell you so.  Allow HIM to become greater and you to become less. Start today.  Renew it every day, and watch what happens.

Becoming Like a Wise Man

Matthew 2:1-12
2:1 After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem 2 and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.” 3 When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. 4 When he had called together all the people’s chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. 5 “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they replied, “for this is what the prophet has written: 6 “ ‘But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.’” 7 Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. 8 He sent them to Bethlehem and said, “Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him.” 9 After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. 10 When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. 11 On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh. 12 And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route. 

We don’t know much about the Wise Men of the traditional Christmas story.  Matthew’s depiction leaves lots to the imagination.  We don’t know the number of these wise men but tradition suggests three.  Some scholars hold that there were three because three gifts were given so therefore it must have been three kingly wise men that presented those gifts.  Some scholars suggest that there were many of them each had a great entourage that accompanied them from the east. Nevertheless, we do know that these men, however many there were, had knowledge from their studies that made them search for the promised king of the Jews.  Matthew shows these men being from the East.  It is not certain but this could have meant Arabia, Persia, or Mesopotamia.  Daniel 2:48 tells us that “the king placed Daniel in a high position and lavished many gifts on him.  He made him ruler over the entire province of Babylon and placed him in charge of all its wise men.”  Could it be that these wise men mentioned in the Christmas story were descendants of those that had been influenced by Daniel’s teachings?  It would make sense for God in His created order to do something that would set the precedent for something else later on down the road.  God has a way of orchestrating things that seem to be a domino effect, one thing leading to another.  This is very evident in Matthew 2:1-12.  You have these scholars that somehow knew enough theology to search for the promise of the messiah.  They knew about prophecies that we now know as part of the Old Testament like Numbers 24:17 that states “I see him, but not now; I behold him, but not near.  A star will come out of Jacob; a scepter will rise out of Israel.”  Or Micah 5:2 that states “But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from old, from ancient times.”  These scholars had long studied the stars and the way they affected human lives.  They were first influenced by these sacred writings now seeing these signs and prophecies coming to fruition.  It is interesting to note that the coming of the Messiah was announced to Jewish shepherds through angels and to these gentile philosophers by a star. God speaks to us through our own language and reveals Himself to us in ways that we can understand.  This reminds the readers that God’s gift of Christ is for all nations and all mankind!  The wise men were intrigued by this star enough to follow it.  They operated with certainty.  They knew it was the sign of a king being born.  Their wonder propelled their action.  The wise men had a sense of wonder.
Had they been fans of old hymns and gospel music, they may have heard the song that George Beverly Shea used belt out:
The Wonder of It All.
There's the wonder of sunset at evening,
The wonder as sunrise I see;
But the wonder of wonders that thrills my soul
Is the wonder that God loves me.

Refrain
O, the wonder of it all! The wonder of it all!
Just to think that God loves me.
O, the wonder of it all! The wonder of it all!
Just to think that God loves me.

Verse 2
There's the wonder of springtime and harvest,
The sky, the stars, the sun;
But the wonder of wonders that thrills my soul
Is a wonder that's only begun.
The wise men were fascinated by their wonder.  But notice that their wonder led them to worship.
Verses 10 and 11 state “when they saw the star, they were overjoyed.  On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts.”
The worship of the wise men is significant, but how they worshiped him is extraordinary.  They bowed down.  When was the last time you heard about someone that was scholarly and well-studied that bowed down?  Just the other day I was in a conversation with a young lady that talked about her college psychology professor.  He would not allow any discussions except on what he had written.  This student made the observation that this professor needed to have his ego stroked.  While it is understood that there are many great scholars that have great faith, it seems that they are in the minority.  It is very interesting how these scholars approached the Christ Child.   They found where the star had stopped and they were overjoyed.  When was the last time that you entered into a place of worship overjoyed?  Once they came into the house, we are told they bowed and worshiped.  They opened their treasures and gave Him their gifts.  Matthew is very clear about the gifts that were presented.  There is much significance in these gifts from which we can learn much.  These kingly scholars presented Him with a little more than pampers, baby wipes and a rattle.  They presented Him with gold, frankincense, and myrrh.  Through their studies that led them to be looking for that star, they knew that this child was more than just a cute baby.  So they presented Him gifts that indicated they understood this child to be so much more.  The gifts came from their personal treasures and seemingly were planned with great consideration.  How many times just this week did we take gifts to another house or presented gifts to those we love.  Hopefully, there was some thought put into your gift giving.    The wise men presented 3 gifts to this holy child.  The first gift that Matthew shares with us is the gift of gold.  A golden gift in that day and culture meant you thought of your recipient as a king.  These wise men had confirmed through their studies that this child was not going to be a king, but this child was a king.  They presented him with gold.  Secondly, they presented him with frankincense.  Frankincense was used as part of the sacrificial giving in the temple.  It was presented by the priests as an offering for the atonement of sins for the people.  In doing so, the priests were mediators that helped the unrighteous people be made right with a very righteous God.  This purification ritual had to be done on many occasions.  The third gift was myrrh.   Myrrh was used as an embalming fluid.  It was
placed on the body of one that died so that body could be made ready for burial.  Do you see the significance of these gifts?  These very wise men recognized Jesus as the King of all Kings.  They saw Him as the priestly mediator between a sinful world and a Holy God.  They knew one day He would die as the Savior.  I am not sure if they knew for sure that His death would be for the atonement for all people, but they knew enough to present Him with gifts of great significance.
Matthew describes the wonder and the worship in specific detail. He also gives us some insight into the fact the after they worshiped Him, they were different.  They were able to recognize that a change had happened in their lives.  Verse 12 of this passage states, “And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.”  An interesting note here, that the word “warn” is used later on in this chapter in verses 13, 19, and 22.  It is also used in Matthew 27:19 when Christ was being tried by Pilate.  “While Pilate was sitting on the judge’s seat, his wife went him this message: ‘Don’t have anything to do with that innocent man, for I have suffered a great deal today in a dream because of Him.’”  In Hebrews 11:7, we are reminded that “By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family.  By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.”  The wise men wondered about what they had seen and heard, they worshiped the king, priest and savior, and they received a sense of wow that caused them to live different lives.  When was the last time you were “wowed?”  When I study scripture and see how it continually interprets itself and how it comes to fruition in my life, I simply say wow.

What gifts are you bringing to the Christ child right now?  Perhaps, like me, you don’t have gold or frankincense or myrrh to bring.  However, in our heart of hearts, we can acknowledge this Christ Child as King.  We can understand Him to be the priestly mediator between a sinful people and a Holy God.  We can recognize Him as Savior and Lord, having died so that once and for all our sins, our unrighteous condition, could be atoned for and that you and I can have life and have it abundantly.  If we come this day recognizing and giving these gifts, we can live a life that guided by the very presence of God, and we can be WOWED.

What We Can Learn from the Shepherds

Luke 2:8-20

We have heard this story forever.  I remember my mother challenging as a young boy to be able to do what Linus did in the beloved “Charlie Brown Christmas” and recite from memory this great passage found in Luke 2 known as the Christmas Story.  Perhaps even you have heard and seen like I did for the first time this year that as Linus recites this passage and gets to the part we have already read where the angel says “Fear not,” then drops his security blanket.  There seems to have been a great buzz about this on Christian radio this year, so I watched it.  Sure enough, Linus starts his recitation and gets to “Fear Not” then drops his blanket.  But one thing I noticed, is that at the end of his great oration, he picks it back up and walks off the stage.  Sometimes you and I are like that and return to the familiar.  This morning I want to invite you to look at this story that you have heard over and over and listen for something new.  I invite you to hear the Revelation of Christ being born, the Realization of Christ being worshipped, and the Response of Christ being shared.

The Shepherds were outcasts.  They had a dirty job.  Their work made them ceremonially unclean and kept them away from the temple for weeks at a time which prevented them from being made clean.  Perhaps they even cared for the sheep that were to be used at the temple as sacrifices, yet they were forbidden to enter the gates of temple.  So they had to remain out in the fields.  The fields were open and dangerous.  As a shepherd, they were protect their sheep from danger so they had to be alert and wide awake.  They were men’s men.  They were practical and not easily persuaded to believe in things that could be mythical or fantasy.  It was their job and way of life to protect the sheep at all costs.  Then it happens.  An angel appears in a way that all of these shepherds see it.  The glory of the Lord is revealed and they are terrified.  Can you imagine what that was like?  Years ago, I had a friend from college that was driving a back road from the Blue Ridge Parkway back to Mars Hill.  On this particular road there was a church in one of the curves that had a very bright fluorescent lighted cross that would blind drivers coming down the mountain.  My friend had been drinking and partying and decided he could make his way home.  On the way home he lost control of his car, ran into ditch and the impact temporarily knocked him out.  When he came too, he was at the foot of that cross being blinded by the light.  In his drunken state, he thought he had died and was about to be judged for his actions and confessed his sin and vowed to never drink again.  He was afraid of that light and the seeming glory of that light.  It caused him great fear.  Have you ever seen the glory of God?  Scripture tells us in Exodus 40:34-35 that the glory of God was contained in the tabernacle.  “Then the cloud covered the Tent of Meeting, and glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle.  Moses could not enter the Tent of Meeting because the cloud had settled upon it, and the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle.”  The people could perceive and experience the greatness of God when His glory was revealed.  2 Chronicles 7:1-3 also shows us something about the glory of God:  “When Solomon finished praying, fire came down from heaven and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices, and the glory of the Lord filled the temple.  The priests could not enter the temple of the Lord because of the glory of the Lord filled it.  When all the Israelites saw the fire coming down and the glory of the Lord above the temple, they knelt on the pavement with their faces to the ground, and they worshiped and gave thanks to the Lord saying, ‘He is good; His love endures forever.’”  Surely the shepherds had heard stories from their ancestors how God revealed His glory to Moses and Abraham and the prophets.  They recognized that this was not from this world and Luke shares with us here that they were terrified.  I bet they have the “pujoobies” scared out them.  These rugged, earthy men were afraid.  But notice what the angel does next, “Do not be afraid.”  The King James Version says “Fear not.”  He goes on to say “I have for you the greatest news of the history of the world!  I am giving you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  Today, in the town of David, over there in Bethlehem, a Savior has been born.”  It was not the good news of a soldier being born nor a great judge being born, nor a reformer being born, but it was the good news of a savior being born!   It was a message of peace to the world that had known much war.  Even though the Pax Romana had been in place for many years, there was turmoil in the land.  People were taxed excessively, wages were hard to come by, and there were arguments in the religious community about how one should live.  Sounds like today doesn’t it?  One writer states “the absence of war does not guarantee the presence of peace.”  In fact, the Stoic Philosopher Epictetus said “while the emperor may give peace from war on land or sea, he is unable to give peace from passion, grief and envy.  He cannot give peace of heart for which man yearns more than ever for outward peace.”  This angel said I have good news and it is going to give you great joy.  Joy produces peace.  In fact, after the angel makes the pronouncement “Today in the town of David, a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.  This will be a sign to you:  You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger,” the one angel is joined with a great company of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to men on whom His favor rests.”  It is interesting here to note that the Hebrew word SHALOM means well-being, health, prosperity, security, soundness, and completeness.  It is more about character than circumstances.  This can only come from God!

Great Joy.  Great Peace. Great God.

No doubt these shepherds had heard the prophets proclaim of a coming messiah.  They knew of the promised one.  Isn’t interesting that the first ones to hear about the birth of Christ were shepherds.  The Messiah came to be both the Good Shepherd and the Lamb of God!  They had a revelation that Christ is born!

With the revelation that Christ is born, the shepherds also had a realization.   Verse 15-16 states “When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, ‘Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.’  So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph and the baby who was lying in the manger.”  They realized this was no dream.  They knew this was to be true.  They had just experienced the glory of God and they were ready to enter into the presence of Christ.  It was immediate:  “they hurried off.”  There was no delay.  They left their jobs and went in search of what they had been told.  The revelation led to a realization.  The realization was to pay reverent honor and homage to Christ the Lord.  By the way, if you look up the word worship on www.dictionary.com, the very first definition listed is “to pay reverent honor and homage to God,” Their realization was to WORSHIP.  Listen to this another way.  When you and I realize this Christmas that Christ, a Savior, was born to reconcile our sinful, filthy lives and give us access to a Holy, righteous God, we will worship!  The Glory of God was revealed to these dirty, nasty, hardworking men and they immediately go to find this Christ.  They didn’t get cleaned up.  They didn’t wait for the right moment.  They didn’t wait until the stars were properly aligned.  They didn’t wait until there was a better time.  They went immediately.  The use of the word found in this passage means they had a search to find this baby.  Perhaps they ran from door to door shouting and disturbing the whole town, “hey is there a baby here?” Then finally, they found him.  Do you think they said, “Oh cool, there he is, doesn’t he look like his daddy?”  Do you think they picked him up and held him?  That’s an awkward thought, or is it?  Or do you think that they bowed down and worshipped that baby?  I have tried to put myself in their sandals, having experienced what they did, I would think I would have come into that barn or cave or whatever it was, and just sat there in awe thinking of how a Mighty and Holy God just gave to me in the form of a baby, the greatest gift of all, that how through Him I could have life and have it abundantly.  My sins being forgiven and my relationship with God being restored.  Just the mere thought of that leads me to worship!  Hallelujah what a savior!

We don’t know for sure what happened there or how long they stayed.  The Revelation that Christ is born led to the realization and Christ was worshipped.  You know, the same happens to you and I if we think about it and are really honest.  When it is revealed to us that Christ is born for the redemption of our sins and we truly realize it, we are going to worship Him.  Verse 17-18 states “When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.”  The revelation was that Christ is born.  The realization caused for Christ to be worshiped.  The response is that Christ must be shared.  The shepherds were the first missionaries if you will.  They shared the good news and joy of Christ coming to this world.  We know from the text that the shepherds left.  “Mary treasured up these things and pondered them in her heart.  The shepherds returned to their work glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.”

Now begs the question, what are you going to do with what you have been told?  My prayer for you is that you will have a revelation about Christ being born, a realization that will lead you worship Him, and by doing so, you will respond by telling others what you have heard and seen, which is just what you have been told.

Luke 17:11-19

Picture this:  you find yourself with the most dreaded disease of your day.  You have places on your skin that look atrocious.  You have nerve damage and you can’t move well because this disease makes your muscles weak.  You are in constant pain.  You are required by the law of the land to shout “unclean” anytime others get close to you.  You have heard about this man that is going through the land healing people and showing compassion.  But you have no hope because your sickness will surely keep him away from you.  You are banned to hang out with others that have the dreaded disease as well.  Even though you are with those of another tribe or nation, you band together just so you can belong to something.  You have to be always alert so you can warn others as they approach to stay away.  All of the sudden one of the others says, “Get ready, here comes some people!”  This crowd is a different kind of crowd.  Looks like there are 13 of them.  You think, “Wait a minute, that man travels with 12 others.  Could it be him?  Could this be the Jesus that we have heard about?”  They get closer….you recognize him and call out “Jesus, Master!  Have pity on us!!”  He does not move away but moves closer.  You hear his gentle voice simply say, “Go show yourselves to the priests.” You are confused, but he said it with great authority and you and 9 others begin to leave.  As you go, you have feeling back that you had lost.  Your skin is miraculously healed!  You have no more sores!  You celebrate and have five one another without fear you fingers will fall off!  They take off running to show themselves to the priests!  You stop.  You turn around and run back to Jesus shouting praises to God.  And you fall at the feet of Jesus and you thank Him for this incredible gift.  “Thank you Jesus for healing me!  Thank you for making me whole!”  Then he speaks, “Were not all ten cleansed?  Where are the other nine?  Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?  Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

What a beautiful story.  This thankful Samaritan was cleansed just like the other nine.  He was restored and given a new chance at life, just like the other nine.  But what made him different?  He noticed.  Once he noticed that his life was forever changed, he returned to say thanks.  The English Poet and Artist Dante Rossetti said “The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful, and has nobody to thank.”  The Samaritan Leper knew that he had somebody to thank and he stopped dead in his tracks, left those that were running to the priests, and thanked the one who made him whole.

There are a few things you and I can learn from the example of the Samaritan Leper.

1.       We don’t have to be shy about praising God and being thankful for His goodness.

a.       Remember that praise is looking at God’s face

b.      Thanksgiving is looking at His hands

2.       Our race and social standing are the same in the eyes of Christ. 

a.       The ground is level at the foot of the cross

b.      The gift comes to us whether we receive it or not

3.       Sometimes we just have to believe that God will do what he says He will do.

4.       When we notice the gift and appreciate that gift, the gift gets bigger.

a.       Zig Ziglar wrote: “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions.  The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.”

What are you thankful for today?  I encourage you this week to take some time alone and thank God for the blessings He has given you.  After you spend that time alone, I encourage you not to be shy about sharing it with others.

Two Songs and an Identity Crisis

Two Songs and an Identity Crisis

Released on July 14, 1978, Peter Townsend and his group The Who, asked the question in the form of a song, “Who are you?” 

Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?

I woke up in a Soho doorway
A policeman knew my name
He said "You can go sleep at home tonight
If you can get up and walk away"

I staggered back to the underground
And the breeze blew back my hair
I remember throwin' punches around
And preachin' from my chair

[chorus:]
Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
'Cause I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)

I took the tube back out of town
Back to the Rollin' Pin
I felt a little like a dying clown
With a streak of Rin Tin Tin

I stretched back and I hiccupped
And looked back on my busy day
Eleven hours in the Tin Pan
God, there's got to be another way

Who are you?
Ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa ooh wa ...

Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?

[chorus]

I know there's a place you walked
Where love falls from the trees
My heart is like a broken cup
I only feel right on my knees

I spit out like a sewer hole
Yet still recieve your kiss
How can I measure up to anyone now
After such a love as this?

[chorus]

It seems that one of the great questions we face in and out of faith on a regular basis is this question of just who are you?  When asked, often we begin answering who we are by describing what we do.  We are quick to say I am a father, I am a husband, I am a college administrator, I am a believer, or I am a sports fanatic.  Yet, the question remains, who are you?  My name is Mitchell Lee Marlowe.  Mitchell is my mother’s maiden name, Lee is my maternal grandfather’s first name and of course Marlowe is my dad’s surname.  There are times when I love hearing my name called.  However, just like you, I am sure that there are many times when I do not really care to hear my name called.  For example, when a frustrated parent calls me and they are upset about a charge on their student’s account or when that person calls you at work that you dread talking to because you not it is not going to be pretty. 

Who are you?

About four years after this song was released, a TV sitcom was introduced in 1982 whose theme song would enter our homes almost every Thursday night the next 11 years.

 
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot. 

Wouldn't you like to get away? 

Sometimes you want to go 

Where everybody knows your name, 
and they're always glad you came. 
You wanna be where you can see, 
our troubles are all the same 
You wanna be where everybody knows 
Your name. 

You wanna go where people know, 
people are all the same, 
You wanna go where everybody knows 
your name. 

You wanna go where people know, 
people are all the same, 
You wanna go where everybody knows 
your name. 

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/cheerslyrics.html

Are you humming that song yet?  This of course was the theme song for the long-running show CHEERS.  The song portrayed a place where it was okay to go, leave your troubles behind, and feel the love of that place where everybody knows your name.  Through the delusions, disasters and disappointments life brings to us each day, there is great comfort in knowing that someone cares enough to call us by name.  God sure seems to think about the importance of a name.  In fact, the idea of a name is referenced many times in His Word.  In Isaiah 40:26 the Bible says, “Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:  Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name.  Because of His great strength, not one of them is missing.” In Psalm 147:4 David wrote that “He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.”    The great passage in John 10 that talks sheep and the great shepherd makes an interesting observation in that the shepherd knows his sheep so well that he calls them by name.  Several other places throughout scripture God refers to the importance of the name being listed in the book of life.  Psalm 68 refers to the enemies that King David has incurred and one of the requests he makes before God is to blot out their names from the book of life.  Paul refers to his fellow workers in Philippians 4:3 “whose names are in the book of life.”  The book of Revelation refers several times about this book of life and the importance of one’s name being in it.  Revelation 3:5 states “He who overcomes will, like them (referring to the people in Sardis mentioned in verse 4), be dressed in white.  I will never blot out his name from the book of life, but will acknowledge his name before my Father and His angels.”  However, in other instances there are great consequences for one’s name not being in the book of life (Revelation 13:8, 17:8, 20:15, 21:27). 

With this in mind, here are a few observations.

• 1.       God could teach us lots about love found in a bar.  There are some strong implications for the church in both of these misfit songs.
• 2.       God knows your name.  He cares so much for you that He has made a way for you to have fellowship with Him through His son.
• 3.       God wants your name to be written in the book of life.
• 4.       God knows all about you yet through Christ He loves you! 
• 5.       The devil knows your name but calls you by your sin.  God knows your sin but calls you by your name!
• 6.       God knows that there may have been lots of lost time between you and He, but He is willing and able to begin making you feel loved and appreciated right now.

Who are you?   

 
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot. 

Wouldn't you like to get away? 

The beautiful thing about the love of God is that it is available to you and me right now, right here, and you don’t have to get away.  His arms are open wide and He knows your name.

Who are you?  In the eyes of God through Christ you are a saint, you are a priest, you are a chosen people.  How do I know? The Bible tells me so.

Were You There?

One of my favorite songs during this time of the year is the old spiritual Were You There.  My family has to suffer early in the morning when I pretend I have a rich baritone voice and sing it quite loudly.  Now published in 145 Hymnals, it was first published in William Barton's Old Plantation Hymns in 1899.  It is such a simple song yet one of the most the most powerful hymns of all time.  While it paints a picture of the crucifixion of our Lord and somehow allows you to travel through time to the hill called Golgotha and gives you a front row seat to the most horrific scene of all history where the Son of God is killed.  The passion and pain that this song exhibits reminds me that it was my sin that nailed Him to the tree and my greed that laid Him in the tomb.  The April 10th reading of Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest reminded me that I must decide to be co-crucified with Christ and that I must make a moral decision about my sin.  I have to decide just as Christ did that my sin not be (in Chambers' words) "curbed or suppressed or counteracted, but crucified."  This decision must be mine and I must allow God to examine me and reveal to me those things that keep me from a closer relationship with Him.  Then I must live out Galatians 2:20 and be crucified with Christ so that I no longer live but Christ lives in me.  Yes, I was there when they nailed Him to that tree and when they laid Him in the tomb.  Okay, maybe I was not there physically, but I am convinced that I was on the heart and in mind of Christ because He knew that I would be a sorry sinner in need of a relationship with a Holy God. So yes, I was there when they nailed Him to that tree and I was there when they laid Him in that tomb.  But thanks be to God that I was there and have experienced His power that raised Him from the dead conquering my sin and overcoming my greed!  This is why I sing with as much passion and gusto as I can "Oh, Oh, Oh, yes sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble."  Yes I was there, but so was He....and He is still with me just as He is with you if you have asked Him to be there for you.  Thank you Jesus for loving me that much!  

Dealing with Difficult Conversations

Difficult Conversations

Overview:  Often we are faced with difficult conversations looming in front of us, those times that you know you should talk with someone, but you are fearful to do so.  Perhaps it is letting your parents know that you are moving to another part of the world or you need to confront a co-worker about not doing their job.  Whatever the case, difficult conversations are part of the work environment. This session will identify several types of difficult conversations that are very common in the workplace and steps in overcoming not only the fear but how to actually initiate those conversations for the common good. 

Brainstorm what comes to mind when you hear difficult conversations.  Perhaps your list is similar to the one below:

a.       Ending a relationship

b.      Talking to a co-worker who behaves offensively or makes suggestive comments

c.       Asking a friend to repay a loan

d.      Giving the boss feedback about his/her behavior

e.      Critiquing a colleague’s work

f.        Asking a roommate to move out

g.       Talking to a team member who isn’t keeping commitments

h.      Discussing a problem with sexual intimacy

i.         Confronting a loved one about a substance abuse problem

j.        Talking to a coworker concerning personal hygiene.

What makes these types of conversations difficult? 

Definition of a Difficult Conversation:

One person states that a difficult conversation is “a discussion between two or more people where (1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong” (Liebau, 2012).  Lynne Cunningham of the Studer Group, an agency that helps promote leadership training, states “after spiders, snakes and public speaking, people seem most afraid of having difficult conversations” (Cunningham, 2013).  Nevertheless, the most difficult thing about difficult conversations is the fear of what may happen. 

Understanding Fear:

Fear has a tendency to make us stop dead in our tracks.  The American Heritage College Dictionary defines fear as “a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by present or imminent danger” (Pickett, 2007).  Notice what fear is:  a feeling.  Crooner Andy Williams released a song in 1975 that offers some pretty sound advice about feelings.  It is simply “Feelings, Whoa Whoa Feelings.”  The point being made is simply that one must realize that fear is nothing more than a feeling and it should be recognized as such.  Fear can be overcome.  Nelson Mandela once stated “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear” (USA TODAY, 2013). 

Some common acronyms for fear might include the following:

False Evidence Appearing Real

Forget Everything And Run

Face Everything And Rise

If one can understand the concept of fear, he or she is well on the way to having successful difficult conversations.  Overcoming fear is a topic of many seminars, workshops and books.  One such approach offers the following steps to help one overcome fear by utilizing a fear ladder:

·         Make a list. Make a list of the frightening situations related to your phobia. If you’re afraid of flying, your list (in addition to the obvious, such as taking a flight or getting through takeoff) might include booking your ticket, packing your suitcase, driving to the airport, watching planes take off and land, going through security, boarding the plane, and listening to the flight attendant present the safety instructions.

·         Build your fear ladder. Arrange the items on your list from the least scary to the most scary. The first step should make you slightly anxious, but not so frightened that you’re too intimidated to try it. When creating the ladder, it can be helpful to think about your end goal (for example, to be able to be near dogs without panicking) and then break down the steps needed to reach that goal.

·         Work your way up the ladder. Start with the first step (in this example, looking at pictures of dogs) and don’t move on until you start to feel more comfortable doing it. If at all possible, stay in the situation long enough for your anxiety to decrease. The longer you expose yourself to the thing you’re afraid of, the more you’ll get used to it and the less anxious you’ll feel when you face it the next time. If the situation itself is short (for example, crossing a bridge), do it over and over again until your anxiety starts to lessen. Once you’ve done a step on several separate occasions without feeling too much anxiety, you can move on to the next step. If a step is too hard, break it down into smaller steps or go slower.

·         Practice. It’s important to practice regularly. The more often you practice, the quicker your progress will be. However, don’t rush. Go at a pace that you can manage without feeling overwhelmed. And remember: you will feel uncomfortable and anxious as you face your fears, but the feelings are only temporary. If you stick with it, the anxiety will fade. Your fears won’t hurt you.  (Smith, Segal, & Segal, 2014)

Through this process or one similar, one can hurdle the greatest obstacle in actually having a difficult conversation.  The next step could include a variety of methods depending on the type of situation that requires a difficult conversation.  However, one’s ongoing personal development process is a vital piece not only in leadership and character development, but in the approach to how difficult conversations will play out.  Before outlining other steps, this concept of personal development and its benefits should be discussed further.  A recent leadership blog written by leadership expert John C. Maxwell reminds its readers that difficult conversations and the like could be driven by character or by emotion.  Previous discussion above has outlined that fear is a feeling.  It could be stated even further that a feeling could be defined as an emotion.  Dr. Maxwell distinguishes several attributes between character-driven people and emotion-driven people that useful in understanding how difficult conversations should be presented. 

Character-Driven People…	Emotion-Driven People…
1.       Do right, then feel good.	1. Feel good, then do right.
2.       Are commitment driven.	2.       Are convenience driven.
3.       Make principle-based decisions.	3.  Make popular decisions.
4.       Let action control attitude.	4.  Let attitude control action.
5.       Believe it, then see it.	5. See it, then believe it.
6.       Create momentum.	6.  Wait for momentum.
7.       Ask, “What are my responsibilities?”	7.  Ask, “What are my rights?”
8.       Continue when problems arise.	8. Quit when problems arise.
9.       Are steady.	9. Are moody.
10.   Are leaders.	10. Are followers.

(Maxwell, 2014)

As portrayed by the chart above, character-driven people keep going even when it gets tough.  Maxwell goes on to quote the late western novelist Louis L’Amour to show the benefits of being character-driven.  “When asked the key to his prolific writing, he responded, ‘Start writing, no matter what.  The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.’”  In other words, one’s character development will produce significant impact on how he or she approaches many areas of life as well as understanding how to deal with difficult conversations.

With this understanding, it would now be beneficial to enter into a practical discussion concerning difficult conversation models.  The Studer Group identifies several models in which they and others have found great success.  The first model is the Impact Message. This model includes the following four steps:

1.       Describe the behavior

2.       Describe the impact

3.       Indicate the desired change

4.       Get a commitment (Cunningham, 2013)

 This model could be used for a leader to a follower could be incorporated the following way:

                When you don’t follow the guidelines that have been established…

                The result is that I don’t feel I have been clear in what needs to be done…

                I need you to let me know you clearly understand what I expect…

Can you help me make sure that I am explaining in a way that you understand and can accomplish the task?

A second model that the Studer Group utilizes is Cup of Coffee Conversation (Cunningham, 2013).  This would be used in a peer to peer situation.  It begins with affirmation and appreciation but then let them know you saw something that was uncharacteristic and not consistent with the set standards. It could flow the following way:

“Fred, let’s go have a cup of coffee.” Start by telling Fred something that you genuinely appreciate about him and his work. With coffee in hand, “I have noticed that you did not do the report according to the guidelines that the company has established.  This doesn’t live up to our standards and concerns me.”  Then pause and take a sip of coffee.  Typically, this will allow Fred to respond to what you have said.  You are not pointing out what he has done that is bad, but a concern you have experienced. 

A third model described by the Studer Group is the Low Performer Conversation (Cunningham, 2013).  This model helps use an evidence-based model where someone is demonstrating in appropriate behavior which is inconsistent to the established policies.  This would be a conversation that an employer would have with his or her team member.  It would best follow something like the DESK model:

D:  Describe what has been observed.

E:  Evaluate how you feel.

S:  Show what needs to be done.

K:  Know the consequences of continued same performance (Cunningham, 2013).

Benjamin Franklin once stated that “Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave the unsaid the wrong thing at the wrong moment” (Liebau, 2012).  It is important to address the concern that has been presented and not to turn this into a time of bashing and belittlement.

Benefits of Mastering Difficult Conversations

As one can imagine, there are many benefits in becoming a master of difficult conversations.  Liebau has listed several that include the following:

• ·         Kick-starts your career (and strengthens your current position)
• ·         Improves your organization
• ·         It improves and builds stronger relationships
• ·         Revitalizes your community
• ·         It will improve your personal health

o   Releases and prevents built up emotion that studies have shown to be harmful to one’s health

o   Research has shown that the survival rate among those have learned to express themselves effectively is much greater than those that have not (Liebau, 2012)

It can be stated that every person makes mistakes at some time in the work place.  Maxwell’s research and writings previously mentioned imply that a good leader will come alongside someone to help them grow.  He states in another article, “If you’re a leader, it is your responsibility and your privilege to be the person who helps them get better” (Maxwell, John Maxwell on Leadership, 2010).  This demonstrates caring which in turn makes difficult conversations easier to approach.  It is the experience of this writer that those that I lead do not care how much I know until they know how much I care.  If I care and have established that relationship showing them this, then I will be able to have difficult conversations in a more effective manner.  If not, I will be ineffective in that difficult conversation and will perhaps create more problems in my approach.

Works Cited:

Cunningham, L. (2013, April 21). Difficult Conversations: Three Models for Your Leadership. Gulf Breeze, FL. Retrieved March 31, 2014, from https://www.studergroup.com/thoughts/archive/difficult_conversations.dot

Liebau, B. (2012, November). Strategies for Difficult Conversations. Fredericksburg, VA. Retrieved March 31, 2014, from http://students.umw.edu/wellness/files/2012/11/Strategies-for-Difficult-Conversations-Student-Leadership-Conference-November-2012.pdf

Maxwell, J. C. (2010, December 20). John Maxwell on Leadership. Retrieved January 8, 2014, from http://johnmaxwellonleadership.com/2010/12/20/for-leaders-balancing-care-with-candor/

Maxwell, J. C. (2014, April 11). Are You Driven By Character or Emotion? Retrieved from http://www.johnmaxwell.com/blog/are-you-driven-by-character-or-emotion?utm_source=WhatCounts+Publicaster+Edition&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Are+You+Driven+by+Character+or+Emotion%3f+%7c+By%3a+John+C.+Maxwell&utm_content=CLICK+HERE

Pickett, J. P. (Ed.). (2007). The American Heritage College Dictionary (Fourth ed.). Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company.

Ringer, J. (n.d.). We Have to Talk: A Step-By-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations. Retrieved April 12, 2012, from www.judyringer.com

Smith, M., Segal, R., & Segal, J. (2014). Phobias and Fears. Retrieved April 11, 2014, from http://www.helpguide.org/mental/phobia_symptoms_types_treatment.htm

USA TODAY. (2013, December 6). 15 of Nelson Mandela's Best Quotes.