Waiting...

Are you patient?  Do you like to wait?  I can honestly say that patience is not one of my virtues.  In fact, I am certain that my blood pressure is at its highest when I am in a line or when I have been asked to wait.  Pardon my disgust when one pipes in, "Good things come to those that wait!"  I want to body slam them. Then there is the time recently when I had a kidney stone.  The doctor was telling me to wait and allow the medicine to work.  No thank you.  Waiting is not for me. From slow drive-through's to checking out at Walmart to even sitting in the car on Sunday morning waiting on my family to go to church, I do not like waiting.  My theme song has become Brad Paisley's "Waitin' On a Woman" (since I do have a wife, 4 daughters, a dog and cat which both happen to be female).  I love my family, don't get me wrong, but, I despise waiting.  You can imagine then, what my life has been like over the last several months as I have been in a season of waiting.  It seems that lately I have been forced to wait in just about every area of my life.  Vocationally, I have had to wait on decisions to be made and personnel to be put in place.  Physically, I have had the aforementioned kidney stone and literally had to wait for relief.  I have also had some problems with my feet (again) that has prevented me from walking like I want to do. However,I have changed my diet and am supplementing a program of healthy shakes to give me energy, better circulation, and increased overall health.  Spiritually, I have practiced the disciplines of worship, prayer, Bible reading, and meditation.  I have participated in small groups studies and have even faithfully taught a Men's Bible study on a weekly basis.  Yet, in all of these areas, I do not see the results I long to have.  I have waited for things to be different, yet they seem to digress instead of getting better.  When does the waiting start to pay off?

Maybe you can identify with where I am.  Perhaps you have also been waiting.  Maybe you are in somewhat of a waiting wilderness.  A prodigal to come home.  A medical report to be good news.  A promotion that is overdue.  A sign from God that this is the right direction.  Whatever it is that you and I are waiting on, God's word reminds us in many verses that He is there in our midst and understands exactly where we are and what we are going through.

God's word also tells us that waiting is being obedient.  For example, Psalm 27:14 parallels waiting on the Lord with strength. "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD" (NIV).  Twice in one verse, God commands us to wait.  

Isaiah 40:31 in many translations indicates that waiting provides renewal, strength, flight, and endurance.

    "But those who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength, 

    they shall mount up with wings like eagles, 

    they shall run and not be weary, 

    they shall walk and not faint." (NRSV)

It does not take long for one to find hope in just these two verses.  Isn't that just the way God works?  In our despair and frustration, we are able to call out to Him and realize He is faithful and trustworthy.  We are reminded that "grass withers and flowers fade, but the word of God lasts forever."

In my season of waiting, I have learned a few things.  First I have learned through reflection, that I have fared better than perhaps I thought.  Those who are close to me have told me that I have shown great patience over the past few months.  I have been told that I have been a testimony to many.  Humbly I am compelled to do better.  Secondly, I am in a better place spiritually than I have been in a long time.  My prayers are more fervent than I can recently remember.  I have become more aware of God's presence in my prayers, my worship, my Bible reading and meditation.  I long to study the word of God more and have a hunger for it.  Thirdly, I am becoming more dependent on God and less dependent on myself.  For the first time in a long while, I am learning like Paul to be content in whatever state I am in, recognizing that God's faithfulness and mercy are with me and will not leave me nor forsake me.  A friend called me the other night simply to encourage me, pray with me, and remind me that God is always at work. The call was just at the right time. Think that was orchestrated by the One that knows every hair on my head, knows every thought that I have and the One that has created me as His masterpiece?  Yea...me too.  

My wilderness is becoming the promised land.

Be encouraged.  Waiting is a season.  Seasons change.  Maybe good things do come to those that wait.  

It is time!

I have had the privilege of attending a simulcast of the Global Leadership Summit, an annual event sponsored by the Willow Creek Association.  I attended with two other men from my church.  Last night as we were discussing the highlights of the day, I shared that in my current position, I felt my hands were tied and my feet were bound and that prevented me from doing some of the leadership practices that had been taught during the course of the Summit.  I had no sooner gotten those words out when my friend Jimmy said, "then lead from your knees!"  I immediately called him a name that I shall not repeat here.  He was  right.  I was making excuses implying that someone else was controlling me and the abilities I  had.  I was also saying that I was limited and I was constrained. My perspective needed to change.  With one comment, my friend showed me that I have become too dependent on my circumstances and my self.  I have been trying to do things for a long time based on my abilities. I was reminded that is is time for me to stop relying on my abilities and start relying on the abilities of my Savior.  

I have prayed every day that I can remember.  I have prayed for others to be blessed.  I have prayed for wisdom.  I have prayed for my family.  I have prayed for my finances and I have prayed for others' finances.  I have prayed for sickness and I have prayed for those who were mourning.  I have prayed for everything under the sun it seems.  I would have until yesterday, considered myself a praying man.  Even so, in just a moment, I was challenged beyond challenges. "Lead from your knees." So I did.  Bad knees and all.  This morning my prayer posture changed.  In my room, alone, in the quiet of the morning, I was able to get on my knees before a Holy and Mighty God and totally submit my leadership abilities and inabilities, my talents and lack of talent, and my circumstances which I can control and those which I cannot.  It was time.  I do not know what the future holds, but I do, without a shadow of doubt, know Who holds my future.

Gutted

In the movie "The Lone Ranger," the villain kills Captain Dan Reid, the brother of John Reid.  It is a nasty scene and the Texas Ranger is for lack of better terms, gutted.  The rest of the movie is about how John Reid partners with a Native American and avenges his brother Captain Reid's horrific death.  I must confess that as I watched this scene, I thought this is really bad and probably something that I should not have taken my family to see.  Funny thing is, my daughters loved it!  They thought it was cool when "that guy was gutted!"  I have officially failed as a father, but that is a different blog for another time.  Have you ever been gutted?  Maybe not grotesquely like portrayed in this movie, but perhaps you have been gutted in a different way.  Perhaps a relationship that you poured everything into ended abruptly.  Perhaps that job promotion you deserved and wanted but you were not chosen.  Perhaps an injury sidelines you your senior season.  Perhaps it was that last glimmer of hope that faded completely away.  Gutted.  One definition states it this way:  "to remove the vital or essential parts from."  Gutted. Have you ever had something happen to you that removed the vital or essential parts from your inner being?  Gutted. Unfortunately, life happens and when it does, things do not always turn out the way you planned or hoped.  So when you have been gutted, what do you do?  When you find yourself dealing with the pain of being gutted, you may find yourself at a loss in what to do.  As you review and think about your circumstance, here are a few recommendations to get through that feeling of being gutted.  

First, look where you are standing both figuratively and literally.  Are you in a place geographically that you should not be?  There are places where one needs to be very careful.   An alcoholic would not do well in a bar.  A glutton would not do well at a buffet.  A kleptomaniac would not do well at a store that allows customers to pay "on your honor."  The point is that if one knows his or her limitations, one should be careful in the environment which they dwell.  This happens when self-examination occurs on a regular basis.  What are you standing on?  Matthew 7:24-27 portrays difference between the wise and foolish builders.  The foolish builder builds his house on the sand but when the storm comes and the waters rise, the house is washed away.  The wise builder has built on a firm foundation that is rock solid.  The Psalmist wrote "the Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock."  Where are you standing and what are you standing on right now?  Look at your feet.  Chances are if you are standing on a rock of truth right now, you will be still standing on that same rock when you are gutted.  If you are not, guess which one moved?

Secondly, look around you.  Who is influencing your decisions?  Are you working with those that build you up or tear you down?  Are you hanging with those that help keep your feet on the rock or are just like the sand described above that shifts with the wind and the waves life brings?  1 Corinthians 15:33 says it bluntly:  "Do not be misled:  Bad company corrupts good character."  Proverbs 22:24-25 states "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared."  Back in my Youth Ministry days, I always had great results illustrating this.  I would stand on the stage and get the smallest teenager in the crowd to come stand on the floor below while I was up on a stage, usually about two feet higher.  I would ask the small teenager if they thought they could defeat me when I towered over them in size.  Then, I would stand on the edge of the stage with my feet hanging off and ask them to try to pull me off the stage.  No matter how hard I tried to keep my balance, even the smallest teenager could pull me off the stage.  It is much easier to be pulled down that to pull someone else up!  If you are in a situation where you have been gutted, will you be pulled down?  Will you  find good counsel from those around you?  

Thirdly, look within.  Where does your hope lie?  What is the basis of your hope?  The Prophet Isaiah stated in Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on the wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  The writer of Hebrews talks about this hope as "an anchor for the soul, (that is) firm and secure" (Hebrews 6:19; ref. v. 11-20).  Hope does not give in nor does it give up.  1 Corinthians 13:13 tells us that when all is said and done, faith, hope and love remain.  This same powerful passage reminds us that the greatest of this is love.  Incidentally, love is the basis for our hope.  John 3:16 reminds us that God so loved that He gave. God Himself was gutted through the gift He gave.  The darkest time that has ever been written about in history was when Christ died on that cross (see Matthew 27:45-56; Mark 15:33-41; Luke 23:44-49).  Gutted.  Thanks be to God that the story does not end there.  The tragedy of the cross was triumphed in the resurrection.  The darkness turned into day.  As a result, when you are gutted, you can also see your tragedy turn into triumph and your darkness can turn into day, but only if you place your hope in the resurrected Christ and the assurance His word brings.  The Bible is full of promises on which we can build this foundation of hope.  For example, Isaiah 41:10 states, "So do not fear, for I am with you: do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  Romans 8:31-39 would also be a great reminder which you and I can build upon.  Other verses to build upon will be Colossians 1:13-14; Psalm 40:1-3; Psalm 46:1; and Psalm 56:3-4 just to name a few.  

Have you been gutted?  Most likely you have been.  Each one of the descriptions at the beginning of this article happened all within one week all within one community.  Was it bad karma? Was it bad luck?  Was it life?  Choose what you want it to be, but when it happens to you, you do not have to give up.  There is hope.  There is truth. 

 "And we know that is all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).

Advice to New College Parents from a Parent and College Administrator (who happen to be the same person)

 In addition to being an administrator in student development, I am also the father of one daughter that has finished college, another daughter that is college-age but has no desire to be in college, and two other daughters that absolutely love college but they are 11 and almost 7.  I also live in a Sea of Estrogen, but that is another talk!  I tell you these things simply to say I can identify with where you are right now.  It is an honor to talk with you this morning about your college student and how he or she can be successful outside of the classroom.  You may hear the term co-curricular over the course of this weekend.  Simply put, co-curricular means a something that is outside the classroom but compliments the academic setting.  Student Development is about the co-curricular.  In fact, the Mission Statement of our department is The Student Development Division of Lees-McRae College is committed to guiding, facilitating, challenging and supporting the development of the whole person- mind, body, heart and soul- all within the context of a safe, nurturing environment.

As a parent and as an administrator in Student Development, I want to share with you a few things that I have learned that will help your student be successful at Lees-McRae College and help you as a parent survive these next 4-5 or 6 years.

First, remember that you have raised your child in the way she should go and when she is old she will not depart from that.  Sure this is a biblical admonition so it has to be true right?  There has to be a time when you let go and let all that parenting, all that wisdom, all that direction giving, come to fruition.  You have planted a seed.  You have watered that seed.  Let the flower bloom.  The law of the harvest states that seed that is planted, watered and nurtured will bring forth fruit.

Secondly, learn to text, tweet and facebook.  Josh Sanburn in a recent Time Magazine article about this generation called millennial stated in speaking of today’s college age students that “they love their phones but hate talking on them.”  Did you know that the average 18 year old sends 88 texts a day?  For some reason, it is higher in my house!  I can tweet so that it gets posted on facebook and sends a text message to my daughters!  You type it once and they get it 3 different ways!  Aren’t you glad your parents couldn’t do that?

Thirdly, strongly encourage your student to sign the F.E.R.P.A. form!  You are going to hear lots about that if you have not already.  FERPA stands for the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act.  FERPA gives parents certain rights with respect to their children's education records. These rights transfer to the student when he or she reaches the age of 18 or attends a school beyond the high school level. Students to whom the rights have transferred are "eligible students."  In other words, if you don’t have your son or daughter’s permission, you can’t discuss with school officials his or her grades. 

Fourthly, understand that you are not alone in this process and join the Lees-McRae College Family Association.  Here you will develop relationships with others that are in the same boat.  Remember, there is strength in numbers but there is also an opportunity to see what has worked for others.

Fifthly, encourage your student to get involved!  What does that mean exactly?  Involvement opens doors.  Involvement allows one to be part of something and gives a sense of belonging.  Involvement helps develop leadership and good decision making skills.  Studies have shown that those who are involved in co-curricular activities have greater social and intellectual development, stronger leadership abilities, better interpersonal skills, and greater general student outcomes. 

Our Student Development staff works with students to create these opportunities.  We list those opportunities on our website and promote activities via email, word of mouth, on facebook, through flyers, and by making them affordable.  We are fortunate to have several clubs and interest groups as well as several opportunities to enhance learning through workshops, symposiums, and programs that even are done in the Residence Halls.  We have many opportunities of which can be taken advantage of to focus on the whole being, the mind, heart, body and soul.  Please encourage your student to explore these possibilities.

Sixthly, I want to encourage you to help your student understand the resources that are available to him or her.  Our Counseling and Disabilities services, our health services, and our Residence Life team can help guide your student through a crisis as well as help celebrate a victory.  Our staff is caring and personable and quickly able to adapt when necessary to make things get done.

An example is continuing right now with a busted pipe…

Seventh, know where the policies are located, know how they are enforces, and know that the policies of the college are in place for a reason.  We are a residential campus because we recognize that a student’s involvement increases dramatically when that student lives on campus.  Where policies are in place community happens.  When community happens, our world is changed.  However, when policies are not in place, chaos happens. When chaos happens, people withdraw and life becomes dull.

Eighth, allow your student to fail forward.  Inevitably, there will be a time when your student messes up.  Let him.  Let her.  Don’t be their savior, but let them learn from that mistake and celebrate with them as they move onward and upward.

Ninth, let your student stay on campus during the weekend, but plan for and encourage them to come home over the breaks, especially when we close the campus! 

Last of all, help your student understand what their plan A is but give them permission to explore their plan B, and celebrate with them when they proceed to plan Z.  Let me explain.  Plan A is that dream major leading to that dream job.  Plan B is almost Plan A but not quite, yet it works.  Plan Z is when you can’t do plan A or Plan B and you are doing whatever you can to legally make it work.

Reflections from 2012

2012 is done!  What do you have to show for it?  

I am reminded today through several email lists that I should take some time to reflect on failures, accomplishments, shortcomings and victories that have taken place this past year.  Interestingly, a moment's reflection immediately brings to mind thoughts and events from 2012 that could be written about over many pages. I have laughed and loved. I have cried and been angry.   I have seen hurt and experienced healing.   I have been moved to tears of joy by the greatness of humanity as well saddened by its senseless acts.  I have developed new classes and lectures that have hopefully challenged young minds with the lessons of life.  I have invested in relationships that have empowered me and in some that honestly have drained me.  I have been the king of the world just by lifting a tennis ball in the yard with two dogs.   I have led people to Christ and hopefully not distracted others from coming to him.  I have turned 50 and realized that I will never dunk a basketball again on this side of Glory.  I have said goodbye to my Grandmother, lifelong friends, and too many that have passed seemingly way before their time was done.  I have read books that have challenged me and motivated me to be better but none that have been written with as much love that can be found in the simple truth of God's Word.  I have had prayers answered to my desire and others that went totally against what I desired, but they have been answered.  I have caught little fish and have caught bigger ones, but I did not catch enough.  I have made money and spent too much money, but I have whittled down some debt and am paying my bills.  I have Tweeted, re-tweeted, "facebooked", and played Words with Friends.  I have had multiple words over a hundred points and beaten many but can't for the life of me beat Craig McPhail.  I have gained weight, lost weight and now have successfully lowered my blood pressure (as long as I don't think about trying to beat Craig McPhail!). I have cheered in victory and experienced the agony of defeat in both humanity and athletics.  I have seen the richness of a Carolina Blue sky and the destruction of a powerful storm.  I have been forgiven when I thought I was unforgivable.  I have heard "I love you" lots and learned to listen to it better.  I have made new friends and strengthened relationships with old ones.  I have learned Taylor Swift songs by hearing her words over and over coming from short little girls that aren't so short anymore. I have celebrated a daughter graduating from college and another finishing High School.  I have been jealous accomplishments of others but I do rejoice with them, recognizing I have many more victories to come.  I have been reminded that I am a saint, redeemed, loved, and forgiven.  I have learned that I have found favor with God.  Most of all, I have learned that I am alive and I must live in such a way that is rich and full and I have learned that I have not learned enough. Look 2013....I am coming your way!

Happy New Year!!

Adversity

ad·ver·si·ty

   [ad-vur-si-tee]  Show IPA

noun, plural ad·ver·si·ties for 2.

1.

fortune or fate; a condition marked by misfortune,calamity, or distress: A friend will show his or her true colors intimes of adversity.

2.

an adverse  or unfortunate event or circumstance: You will meet many adversities in life.

It has been said that adversity happens.  A more modern translation might say "stuff happens."  A slang translation uses a more descriptive word, "________ happens."  There are things that occur that one just simply cannot control.  In the last few weeks our nation has been rocked by the remnants of a hurricane and other weather events stemming from that storm that have been chaotic and disruptive to lives.  The ordinary flow has changed temporarily for some while for others it has been life-altering.  

Adversity happens in many forms.  Pain.  Sickness.  Death.  Job loss.  Devastation.  Broken relationships. Misunderstandings.  Misfortune.  Even in the midst of this loss, one can easily personalize the adversities that he or she have gone through, perhaps within the past week.  Bottom line, adversity happens!  When it does, what do you do about it?  How do you react? Some shut down.  Some respond in anger.  Others become hardened and others depressed.  How one deals with adversity stems from the very worldview they may possess.  Negative people may blame others and say that is just the way it is while positive people may ask what can I learn through this trial.  

The Bible is full of characters that dealt with adversity.  One character that seems to have more recorded instances of adversity than anyone else is the Apostle Paul.  2 Corinthians 11:23-33 describes some of the adversity he went through.that included beatings, floggings, stonings, being shipwrecked, lost at sea, being in danger from others, being thirsty and hungry, being cold,  sick, going without sleep, and even times where he had no clothing.  The list is exhausting just reading it, it is hard to imagine what it was like to be in just one of those situations let alone being in all of them!  Adversity happened!

So just how did Paul deal with these adversities in his life?  While scripture does not go into detail about each situation and how he dealt with such, there are a few instances where one can gain insight.  In Acts 28:1-

6, one such instance reveals a mindset and perhaps a model of how to deal with adversity.  Paul has just been over 14 days in hurricane like winds in a ship on the sea.  The ship wrecks and the 276  people on board have either swam to shore or floated safely there on the remnants of the destroyed ship.  They are cold. They are wet.   It is raining.  They are able to start a fire and in an effort to keep the fire burning, Paul gathers brushwood to throw it on the fire.  While doing so, a snake comes out of the brush and bites Paul on the hand.  This is not a glancing blow, it is a full-fledged bite to the extent where the snake is literally hanging by its fangs penetrating through the skin of Paul's hand.  Interestingly, there are witnesses to this trauma.  They respond in an interesting way.  They don't rush to the aid of one that has been snake bit, but they immediately go into a mindset of doom and gloom.  They say, "He must be a murder because he escaped the sea and now Justice has not allowed him to live."  Parenthetically, how many times have you ever allowed your adversity or the adversity of others win?  In other words,  how many times have you just said, "Well, adversity happens.  My fate is sealed.  Gloom, despair and agony on me...(remember the song from 'HEE-HAW?')."  By-standers thought Paul was dead.  His eulogy had already been started.  

According to scripture, Paul's next action is simplistic yet it reveals a mindset that is literally life-changing if one can  put it into practice.  Another parenthetical insertion here, the application of scripture is always easier than we allow it to be.  Paul remains calm.  He is matter of fact.  He simply looks at his hand, sees the snake, shakes it off into the fire, and goes on to what is next without suffering ill effects.  

So what can we learn from this?  Here are a few things you can begin right now to deal with adversity in your life:

1.  Recognize that adversity will happen no matter what you do to prevent it.

2.  Because adversity happens (and it will), begin now to develop a mindset  that will help you shake it off by doing the following:

• Realize who is in charge of the big picture through the study, meditation and application of concepts found in Romans 8:28; Genesis 50:20; Isaiah 38:17; Jeremiah 29:11
• Realize who you are through God's viewpoint as revealed in scriptures like Psalm 139:1-18; a study in the book of Ephesians (utilizing the "I AM" statements...more on that later!); John 3:16; Isaiah 9:7

3.  Pray.  Development a mindset of prayer and that literally is shown in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17.

4.  Surround yourself folks that don't "produce ill effects" (1 Corinthians 15:33) or allow poisonous thoughts to enter your mind by changing the way you think (Romans 12:2).

5.  Practice shaking it off by shaking it off.  Literally.  James 1:22.

Adversity happens.  Will you be ready?

De-cluttering to Hear the Still Small Voice

Lately, I have been busy.  In fact, I have been so busy, I have gotten slack in lots of different areas and things have begun to pile up.  I have found myself dealing in clutter.  My dresser at home has been cluttered with my stuff.  My sock drawer has been cluttered.  My desk at work has been cluttered.  My calendar has been cluttered.  Even my Bible was cluttered.  Yep, you know all those notes you take during the sermon and the pictures drawn by your precious children to keep them occupied during the message?  I mean it seemed that everywhere I turned I was dealing with clutter.  So I said to myself, "Self, what is up with all this clutter!"  I am amazed that I even heard myself since everything was so cluttered, but I did!  A real quick evaluation made me realize that I needed to stop and reassess a few things in my life.  I started asking questions immediately, "How did I get to this point? Had I lost anything in all this clutter? Would I be able to find it if I did?"  I evaluated and re-evaluated some things and in just a few moments found that I had once again allowed "stuff" to get in the way of lots of things.  Funny how that happens.  I think that I would learn after all these years, but somehow, I don't.  I find myself laying something to the side thinking that I would deal with it more efficiently later.  That is all well and good until I lay something else on top of it and then I add more and more and more.  Before long, clutter happens.  

Can I get a witness?  Is it just me or have you been there?  I have learned that clutter in one's life just doesn't happen overnight.  It is a process that grows like a bad disease.  It can spread like a cancer over a period of time and before you know, life is "clutterly"consumed.  So what exactly happens when you get caught up in a mess of clutter?  Clutter is defined as "to fill or litter with things in a disorderly manner."  It is interesting that this definition uses the words "fill or litter."  When one gets caught up in a mess of clutter, space is taken up, seemingly important things become trashy, things are misplaced, perhaps opportunities are swallowed up, and time is wasted.  What have I lost or how much time have I wasted because of clutter?  How much more productive could I be if I de-clutter my life?  Spiritually, we can get cluttered as well.  We can get caught up in service, doing ministry and lose sight of the Savior.  We can be so concerned with rituals we forget the need to strive for righteousness.  We can get so busy with dogma we forget about discipleship.  Can you see the picture being painted before our eyes?  It is easy to be tempted by the clutter in our lives.  Scripture reminds us that we are not alone in this mess (1 Cor. 10:13).  However, that does not excuse us from working on it!  Elijah faced lots of clutter in his life.  One example can be seen in 1 Kings 19:10-18.  Here, Elijah even faced clutter that was beyond his control.  However, one characteristic that he displayed was to work through the clutter until he heard the still small voice of a Mighty God.  There is something to be learned here.  First, in the clutter, you cannot hear God speaking.  Therefore, do all you can to make sure that you get beyond the clutter.  Secondly, sometimes the clutter comes from things we cannot control.  However, God will still speak if you wait for Him to do so.  Being focused, setting goals, and a bit of discipline can help in other areas of your life to help de-clutter.  The really cool thing is I am finding that if I am de-cluttering spiritually, the rest will fall in suit!  So take a lesson from the clutter in my life, examine, evaluate, and enter into a plan of action:  DE-CLUTTER!  In fact, I am cutting this short now to go tackle the sock drawer!